Fred Thompson announced today that he was dropping out of the Presidential race. I will admit that I was a Fredhead for a time, then settled on Rudy Giuliani. But, I still respected him for putting up with the crap of the 2008 Presidential election.
Still, I couldn't help but think there was more to it than just running low on money and support. So, in the spirit of David Letterman, I came up with the Top 10 Reasons Fred Thompson Dropped Out of the Presidential Race.
10) Received frantic calls from Mitt Romney asking him to drop out because Romney kept wetting his "magic underwear" by Fred's mere presence
9) He's cryogenically freezing himself to run in 3008.
8) He's going to be the next American Idol. Not hoping to be; GOING TO BE.
7) Volunteered to give toughness lessons to Chuck Norris
6) He was kidnapped and replaced by a badly-made French clone.
5) Lost a "Loser Leaves Election" match to Rudy Giuliani
4) His message was lost on most Americans because we couldn't understand Badass.
3) Come on. Have you seen how hot is wife is?
2) He didn't quit the race. The race begged him to stop running.
1) Couldn't stand being next to Ron Paul in the Republican debates without being able to clock him