Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Top Ten Reasons Fred Thompson Dropped Out of the Presidential Race

Fred Thompson announced today that he was dropping out of the Presidential race. I will admit that I was a Fredhead for a time, then settled on Rudy Giuliani. But, I still respected him for putting up with the crap of the 2008 Presidential election.

Still, I couldn't help but think there was more to it than just running low on money and support. So, in the spirit of David Letterman, I came up with the Top 10 Reasons Fred Thompson Dropped Out of the Presidential Race.

10) Received frantic calls from Mitt Romney asking him to drop out because Romney kept wetting his "magic underwear" by Fred's mere presence

9) He's cryogenically freezing himself to run in 3008.

8) He's going to be the next American Idol. Not hoping to be; GOING TO BE.

7) Volunteered to give toughness lessons to Chuck Norris

6) He was kidnapped and replaced by a badly-made French clone.

5) Lost a "Loser Leaves Election" match to Rudy Giuliani

4) His message was lost on most Americans because we couldn't understand Badass.

3) Come on. Have you seen how hot is wife is?

2) He didn't quit the race. The race begged him to stop running.

1) Couldn't stand being next to Ron Paul in the Republican debates without being able to clock him


Anonymous said...

Baghdad - A suicide bomber wearing an explosive belt attacked a school in the Iraqi city of Baquba early on Tuesday, killing its guard and injuring 20 students and teachers, according to witnesses.

The bomber blew himself up as students were entering a high school in the centre of Baquba, 60 kilometres north-east of Baghdad, the witnesses said.

This attack comes a day after another suicide bomber killed at least 17 people and injured 20 at a mourning ceremony in the village of Hajaj near the northern Iraqi city of Bayji in the province of Salahaddin.

The deputy governor of the province in charge of security, Gen Ahmed Abdallah, and a member of the a tribal police unit known as the Awakening Council, Hamad Ibrahim, escaped unharmed. Both might have been the target of the Bayji bombing.

Iraq has seen a recent lull in violence, which the US and Iraqi military attribute to a large-scale security offensive with the backing of the Awakening Council against al-Qaeda insurgents and their Sunni extremist allies, especially in Baghdad and Diyala.

Under pressure, the insurgents were escaping these areas and regrouping in northern provinces, which have seen a recent surge in violence, the US military says.

ex-Hollywood Liberal said...

Odd comment - I guess Ron Paul signed on as Anonymous... As a former state political candidate, I sensed that Thompson ran a lazy man's race. The gates were down, the lights were flashing, but the train never came...

Anonymous said...

That guy actually sounds more loony than Ron Paul. Some Americans just live to cheer against their country. Mental disorder, indeed.

Good work, Tom. Fred was a true conservative. Now we are left with moderates, which sucks in some ways, but is also why the GOP will win against the party of polarization and George Soros.