You may not have heard the name of Phillip Thompson, but you may soon. Thompson is a staffer for Democrat Senator from Virginia Jim Webb. Thompson got in a bit of trouble for coming into the Russell Senate office building with a pistol of Webb's. Given this situation, we have to pull out all the stops! We need to get to the bottom of this crime! We must leave no stone unturned to find the truth!
First, we need a Special Prosecutor to look into Thompson having Webb's pistol in the first place. We'll put him on the stand and ask him all sorts of questions designed to make him commit perjury. We'll even load up the grand jury with 12 of the most hardcore Republicans out there. Then, we'll have to demand that Webb appear on the stand. And since he works for Harry Reid, we should demand the Senate "Majority" Leader testify.
Then, after we spend a ton of money grilling Thompson, Webb, and Reid, we need to hold a Congressional hearing where a representative of the National Rifle Association can testify about responsible gun ownership. No Senators who oppose this representative will be allowed to ask the NRA rep any tough questions. Then, we'll get Sarah Brady in the chamber, ask her questions, and then interrupt her before she can give her answer.
Yes, we have to do all of this to make sure we aren't being fed a bunch of lies from Jim Webb. After all, it's all about finding the truth, not politics, right?
Oh, and one last thing. To those of you who object to what I propose to do with Webb, I'm only following your lead...as you handled Scooter Libby and the Valerie Plame testimony in the Senate.