Fox's new game show "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" is a hit, mainly because it plays on our natural discomfort at not being as smart as we think we are. Well, after reading some of the exploits and comments from the anti-war movement lately, I've come up with my own game. It's called Are You Smarter Than an Anti-War Activist?
The rules are simple. I will give you a series of multiple choice questions. Choose an answer, keep track of them, and see the bottom of this post for your score. Here we go...
1) You are in the voting booth trying to decide who to vote for. One candidate is a pro-war Democrat. One candidate is an anti-war Democrat. One candidate is an unknown Republican. Who do you vote for?
a) The anti-war Democrat
b) The unknown Republican
c) The pro-war Democrat
d) None of the above. You're writing in Cindy Sheehan!
2) A usually staunch ideological ally seems to be going soft on her promise to end the Iraq War. What do you do?
a) Write to the ally telling her how you feel.
b) Sign a petition to get her to listen to you.
c) Nothing. You aren't anti-war.
d) Stage a sit-in in the middle of her office, claiming she's no better than George W. Bush.
3) You really want to make an impact at an anti-war protest in your city. What do you wear?
a) Your "No Blood For Oil" t-shirt.
b) Your "War Is Not The Answer" t-shirt.
c) Your "Tofu Is For Wussies" t-shirt.
d) Your favorite pink pig costume, with your favorite oversized tie-dyed t-shirt with the pot leaf on it.
4) The war in Iraq is...
a) being lost on the ground.
c) damn cool when you think about all the terrorists meeting Allah.
d) an inside job perpetrated by George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Halliburton, and the Zionist Jews to make money for corporate fatcats who created a fascist dictatorship in America thanks to the Patriot Act.
And last question...
5) The most effective form of protest is...
a) educating your family and friends.
b) holding a protest march.
c) protecting a national monument against those who would try to vandalize it.
d) making a complete ass of yourself.
Okay, here are the answers.
If you chose a, you're smarter than an anti-war activist most of the time.
If you chose b, you're smarter than an anti-war activist some of the time.
If you chose c, you're smarter than an anti-war activist all of the time.
If you chose d, you're an anti-war activist, so you're not that smart to begin with.